ibeachalot's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Where Were YOU in '82? Where was I in 1982, you ask? Well, I�ll tell ya... (this is a long one) 1982 was a roller coaster of a year for me. I rang in the new year as a 15 year old. I was experiencing one of the happiest times of my life, but it would soon be followed by one of the saddest. In 1982, life was good for me. I had a boyfriend. I had tons of friends. I loved school and had plenty of things I enjoyed to keep me busy. We were still living in the house my parents bought ten years earlier, only now our house was for sale and we were planning a move to California where my dad had gotten a job transfer. I now had an eight year old brother and a red tabby named Jennifur. My boyfriend was named Walt. He was a year older than me and was a sophomore at FHHS. We had met the year before and had hit it off instantly. We were introduced by a mutual friend of ours, Becky, who stopped talking to me after it was discovered that Walt was interested in me instead of her. Walt was different than the other guys I had gone out with. We had alot in commom, especially music. The majority of our outings consisted of us going to concerts and then meeting the bands backstage. Walt had a fake press pass that fooled all the guards into letting us through. Name any band from the early 80s and chances are, I�ve seen them perform and met them, as well. Walt and I used to spend every night on the phone until all hours. One or both of us usually ended up falling asleep on the phone. Every Friday and Saturday night, we�d hit the video game arcades and blow a wad of quarters. We�d then end up at his house in his finished basement room. I loved Walt�s room. It only had two small windows so it was very dark and private. He had blacklight posters all over the walls and incense burning at all times. We�d sit in his room, talking and listening to music, then we�d proceed with a heated make-out session on his bed. Surprisingly, Walt never pressured me into taking our relationship further. Jo Lynn and I were still the best of friends. We rode the bus to school together and on Wednesdays we went to the skating rink. We used to go on Saturdays the year before, but it was so crowded and smoke-filled, we opted to go when we had some room to move and a new crowd with which to socialize. Walt hated skating, so this was our chance to have a break from one another. I also had my St. Louis friends: Laura, Cyndi, Tracy, Danny, Gary, Chris, Greg, Nicole, Chad, Dave... I can�t even remember all their names now. They all lived in Ladue, which is a wealthy area of the county. I loved going to their houses and seeing how the �other half� lived! Danny, Gary and Chris were brothers and Gary and Chris were twins. Laura, Cyndi, Danny, Gary, Chris and I were in a band. Don't laugh. We were damn good, if I say so myself. We called ourselves Gemini. I played drums mostly, but also played some guitar and keyboards. I sang, as well. After Walt and I started dating, the band stopped playing as often as we had. I wish I had stuck with it. I really thought we were good. I loved school. I was a freshman at SC West, a new school that looked like no school I had ever seen. We had pods, as opposed to classrooms. The ceilings were all open with big colorful pipework hanging down. We had a deli and soda machines. There was a big atrium where we could sit at lunch time, although I don't think we ever did. I wonder why? I got really good grades and loved my classes. Everything was really going well for me, until.... My dad announced that he couldn�t stay in Missouri any longer to wait for the house to sell. He had to begin his new job in California, but would come back to help us move when the house sold. He left to rent a room from a lady he worked with. This lady, Carole, used to work with my dad in Missouri and I suspect that she had a thing for my dad. I�m not convinced they didn't have an affair. Anyway, my dad wanted me to move in with him and Carole in California. I�d have to move soon anyway, when the house sold and this way I could do some babysitting for Carole�s four year old daughter and earn some money for the summer. We bought my plane tickets and I made my plans to move July 1st. I never dreamed leaving would be as traumatic as it was. I said my tearful goodbyes to all my friends, one by one. On June 27th, Walt and I attended our last concert, Cheap Trick. Instead of trying to get backstage to meet them, we went straight back to his place. We had other plans... I can�t remember for the life of me how we got home from the concert. Walt didn�t drive yet and neither of our parents took us. It must have been a friend of Walt�s. Anyway, we went back to Walt�s room where I lost my virginity. I suspect he lost his that night too, although he vehemently denied it. Afterwards, like many girls after their first time, I thought... that was it? It was stupid, painful, ridiculous, stupid, embarrassing and stupid. And I wouldn�t have wanted it to have been with anyone else. I truly loved Walt. I cried when I told Walt how much I would miss him. He told me he would miss me, too. I told him �I love you� for the first time. His reply was, �Ditto�. To me, it was pure poetry. Walt accompanied us to the airport July 1st. He wanted to see me off on my flight to California. I still feel the knife in my heart when I had to say goodbye to him. I wanted to give him a hug, but the flight attendant hurried me through the line and before I knew it, I was on the plane. I couldn�t believe this was happening. I was on my way to California, where I did not want to be and I didn�t even get to say a proper goodbye to the one person who meant the world to me. I cried all the way there. Dad and Carole picked me up at the airport. I cried all the way back to Carole's house. I called mom to let her know I had arrived safely. I told her I hated it there and wanted to go home. She told me �no� for the first time in my fifteen years. Three days later, I got a card from Walt. It was shaped like a cheeseburger. He wrote about what he�d been up to and told me, �I sure do miss you!� This was quite an emotional breakthrough for the guy who took eight months to kiss me for the first time! At the end of his card, he had written �L/Y/F� which I correctly interpretted to mean �love you forever�. I walked on air. Walt loved me! A week later, I realized I had given no thought whatsoever to birth control. I stole an EPT from a 7-11 and took the always fun pee-on-the-stick adventure. Luckily, I wasn't pregnant, or I might be the mom to an almost twenty year old now! I earned $35 a week babysitting for Carole�s daughter Angela, who was a total brat. At least she spent the majority of the day outside playing. Looking back, I can�t believe I allowed a four year old to play outside unattended in that neighborhood. We lived four doors down from Los Angeles High School. If you don�t know the area, let me assure you it�s one of the worst areas in the country as far as crime and gang activity. On days when Carole took Angie to work with her, I used to walk down to La Cienaga Blvd. and go shopping. Christ! A white girl would be shot on sight in that neighborhood now. That is, after she had the shit raped out of her. My mom got the house sold and moved out with my brother and all our stuff a month later. We knew we had to find a place of our own, as we were cramped enough in Carole�s tiny rented house and I knew mom was none too pleased about having to stay with Carole the husband-stealer in the first place. We found a brand new apartment unit for rent in the Valley. It was in Reseda, right where the epicenter of the 1994 Northridge quake would be. It was nice to have a place of our own and spread out a little. The apartment was great, and was even bigger than our house in Missouri. I worried about my parent's scraping together $795 a month for rent. I was quite intimidated by life in southern California. Everything was fast paced and exciting. I wasn�t used to people of varying ethnicity. I wasn�t used to someone who didn�t speak English taking my order in a restaurant. I hated it. I enrolled for tenth grade at Reseda High School, where the Board of Education said I would attend according to our address. I walked the campus a few times over the summer and hated it. I wanted to go home to my old school, where everything was new and where I knew everyone. One day, mom, Trevor and I were trying to find our way around and we found another high school, Cleveland High. It was heaps alot closer to our apartment than Reseda High. We called the BOE back and found out I would indeed go to Cleveland, not Reseda. Duh. So I re-enrolled at Cleveland. I started school the following week and HATED it. HATE. There were twice as many people than there were at my old school. The buildings were old and the campus was all outdoors. I had a hard time making friends. Within a few weeks, I became friends with Vicki, a senior in my P.E. class. She was six feet tall and had a quiet sense of humor that I could relate to. It didn�t take long for me to meet and start dating other guys like Jeff, Gean, Dan, Mark and Daryl. None of them knew what they were in for going out with me. I was still hopelessly devoted to Walt and every date ended up with me in tears missing him. I spent my sixteenth birthday babysitting for a neighbor in our apartment whose birthday was the same day. Happy fucking birthday to me, I sang. My first winter in southern California brought forth a deep depression for me. I hated the 80 degree Christmas celebration. Nothing seemed to make sense there. I got albums for Christmas and some new clothes. I was trying desperately to fit in so I needed some clothes to play the part. My dad and brother took kindly to the change, but my mom and I spent alot of time wallowing in depression. The transition from life in the midwest to fast paced southern California took its toll. Well.... I guess I�ll bring you 1992 tomorrow! Whew - time flies! 3:14 p.m. - 2002-11-14 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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