ibeachalot's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Day in the Life of a Frazzled Mommy It's only 10:46am, and I'm already ready for this day to end. It actually started yesterday. I put Jameson on the bus and took a quick shower. I put Griffin down for a nap, then settled in on the couch to take a nap myself. I had just fallen into that wonderful stage of "just asleep" when the phone rang. When I saw the name of Evan's school on the caller ID, I thought for a second about letting the call go to voice mail. Then I realized I would never get a moment's peace if I didn't answer it. It was Evan's special ed teacher telling me he had once again wet his pants at school. He had already peed through the nurse's spare set of clothing, so she asked if I could bring up a change for him. Fuck. I just love being awakened from a much needed nap, while feeling like total shit, having to wake up a sleeping baby (which is totally against everything I believe in) all to take clothes up to a seven year old who can't seem to figure out where the bathrooms are located. Doctors are baffled. They don't think Evan has a physical problem. They all make excuses for him as to why he won't get himself to the bathroom on time. I have a theory, as well. He's lazy. He's so afraid of having to stop his activity to piss when he needs to, that he refuses to get up and go and would rather wet himself. Good thing he gets himself to the toilet when he has to go number two. While I was awake and out anyway, I decided to go to Walgreen's for milk and a birthday card. I walked right out of the store without the milk! Luckily, an honest patron called after me. I swear, I'm so scatterbrained I'm not fit to raise children. I got home and elected not to resume my or Griffin's naps, because the older boys were due off their busses soon. I made salmon cakes, wild rice and corn for dinner. Evan and Jameson refused it all. Kevin took Evan out for a haircut, since today is the day for his spring pictures at school. Our regular girl works really limited hours now, so they went to this new place up the road that just opened. It's called the Hairy Elephant. They have race cars, animals and other fun things for the kids to sit on/in while they get their hair cut. They also have TVs, VCRs and DVDs for the to watch. Kevin said that other than having no place for the adults to sit and the steep price tag for the cut ($15) it was a cool place. I reminded him that we pay $12 at our regular place. They did a really good job on Evan's hair. Now if he'll just smile nicely for his picture today... While they were gone, Jameson threw a colossal fit that he wasn't getting his hair cut, too. He yelled at me and called me names. I took him into my room, laid him on my bed and told him to stay there until he could behave better. When I returned, I found Griffin shoving corn into his ears. Jameson came out my room a little while later. I went in to find he had taken seven million tissues out of my tissue box and tossed them about the room. *Sigh* My work is never done. Tomorrow, we're having Direct TV installed. We have had all we can take from our cable company. They continue to charge us for the digital cable that never worked. They threaten with disconnection notices for our regular cable. I fight with them and fight with them about it, give them money here and there to keep our service on, then they're right back at our door a few days later. Finally, they came and shut us off for good a few days ago. Fine. We took their equipment to them this morning, told them to bend over and grab their ankles so we could insert it firmly up their ass and told we were done with them. There were several other people there to complain about their pipeline internet service, which thank goodness, I didn't get. I'm so happy to get out from under this horrible company! Today, the guy came out to look at our couches. We bought these things in December and already there's split in the top cushion, piping coming loose and one of the cushions is completely flat. This guy and I played phone~tag for a month, then one or the other of us had to keep cancelling appointments. Finally, today was the day. He showed up and I about fell to the floor. He was a total babe. Tall, built and eyes the color of Windex. As soon as I saw him, I wished I had done something with my hair. While he was looking at the furniture, Jameson embarrassed me like no one ever has. Jameson is NOT shy. He'll say anything that comes to mind, like: "My mommy hasn't showered yet today! She just put clothes on over her dirty body!" "Mom, does that man has a winky?" ~Burp~ "I still can't burp as loud as you do, mommy!" "Mom! When that man bends over, I can see his 'FTLs' and the top of his butt!" Then when Josh~the furniture God asked to use the bathroom, Jameson asked him... "Are you going poop or pee?" "Did you wash your hands, young man?" Just when I thought I'd heard it all, Jameson continues to deem me speechless. I was so embarrassed, I started getting nervous. When I get nervous, I giggle. I was laughing so hard, I had tears streaming down my face. I was rolling on the floor, trying not to piss myself. I was so mortified, that I didn't even notice what a shitty job he did stitching up the split on the couch. Kevin's gonna be pissed, but I really don't see what else he could've done to fix it, other than replace the couch entirely. This is why I prefer Kevin be here to handle things like this. I don't like having to stand up to strange (albeit cute) men in my house when I'm alone. How do I know this guy isn't an axe murderer who preys on fat, giggling housewives with matted down hair? After he left, I got on the phone to Metro~Tix to buy tickets to the Wiggles show. They're going to be here on Griffin's birthday. I dialed the number for a solid half hour before I finally got through. Then I was told to wait for the next available operator, who would be with me in approximately four days. To avoid this wait, I could go to metrotix.com to place my order. Why the hell didn't I think of that? I ordered five tickets, which cost as much as my parents' first home and told the kids this will be all of their birthday gifts for the next three years. I was hoping our tickets would be close enough to the stage that I could throw my panties up to Anthony. He's such a babe! Then again, I don't want to break his neck with my big ol' granny panties. Oohh! I'm so... er, uh I mean... the kids are so excited to see this show! I still feel like total and complete shit. I slept horribly last night, due largely in part to Griffin being in bed with us. He's getting snuffly, too and always likes to get into bed with us when he's sick. Sorry for any typos. I'm too tired to proof this. I'm gonna grab lunch and take a rest. 10:46 a.m. - 2003-04-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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