ibeachalot's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fucked up day... I'm hoping today is a better day than yesterday. Aside from the weather, which was beautiful and California-esque, yesterday was a total disaster. First, Kevin went to work at the crack of dawn so he could leave early to keep the kids for my doctor's appointment. This left me to bathe, feed and dress three kids and myself, in addition to preparing two of them for school, packing lunches, snacks and book bags. I also had to take Evan to school, ten miles away. Not a huge problem, just an inconvenience and a rushed one, at that. I came home, did some cleaning, then got ready for my podiatry appointment. As I'm doing so, I notice that Griffin's breathing seems more labored than it did the day before. He's been fighting me about taking his steroid medication, choosing instead to spit it out, and vehemently opposing the breathing treatments. After each treatment, he rebelliously goes through the apartment, knocking things to the floor, throwing books and videos around, pushing furniture over and bouncing off the walls. Nothing I tried made him happy and content. When Kevin arrived home, I asked him to call the doctor and see what they wanted us to do. We all left together to go to my doctor's appointment. We first dropped Jameson off at school, while Kevin spoke with Griffin's nurse practitioner. They wanted us to give him another breathing treatment as soon as possible, followed by another one forty five minutes later. During the drive however, Griffin fell asleep. Kevin elected to let him sleep while I went into my appointment, as opposed to Kevin driving Griffin home and giving him the treatment himself. My appointment... I fill out all my paperwork and wait to be called in. The receptionist asked for my referral and I inform her that United Health Care no longer requires a referral to see a specialist, according to Kevin who received word at work that this was their new policy. She calls United to confirm this. United tells her that I indeed do need a referral. *Deep heaving sigh, dripping with disgust* I then try to call my primary care physician from my cell phone to see if they can immediately fax a referral over to the podiatrist. They're closed on Thursdays. AAARRRGGHHH!! So looking like a total and complete ass, I leave the office after scheduling another appointment, at which I hope to have a referral in my hand from my regular doctor. I call Kevin who's waiting in the parking lot and tell him what happened. He said, "I was afraid of that... " WHA??? "You're the one who told me I no longer needed a referral!" I said to him once reaching the car. "I thought that's what I heard" he tells me. Stupid fuck. Now I have to go through this all over again and I have to live with foot pain another WEEK! Waaa-aah! We go home to give Griffin another torture treatment. I refer to it as such because he hates them so much and I feel like I'm putting him through hell for what I see as very little result. I brought his car seat in the house and strapped him in, thinking that would be easier on him and me both, than me trying to restrain his arms, legs, flailing torso and biting teeth. It didn't work. He stayed put a little better but still got so unbelievably upset. Afterwards, he again threw one of his fits. This one was worse than ever. He was throwing his head into the walls and trying to hurl himself down the stairs. His heart was racing. I was afraid he was going to hurt himself. Neither Kevin, nor I could calm him down. It wasn't a standard "two year old" tantrum. It was more like a psychotic rage. Unfortunately, I'm familiar with them. We called the doctor's office again and let them hear what we were going through. They asked if his chest was caving in when he breathed. Kevin told them I couldn't look at it long enough to tell, because he was so out of control. They said if he didn't calm down, I should take him to the emergency room. I tried whatever I could to calm him down. He would reach his arms out to me, but would collapse when I tried to pick him up. Or if I was able to pick him up, he'd flounce right out of my arms. He went to the stroller and acted like he wanted to go for a walk. I strapped him in and took him outside. As soon as we turned the corner outside, he tried to hurl himself right out of the stroller, over the straps. I took him inside where he resumed his fit. Finally I was able to calm him down by taking outside, while holding him. I don't know if that's what he wanted all along or if it was just a matter of timing. Kevin and I decided we weren't giving him anymore Albuterol treatments. We just didn't think the side effects were worth whatever the meds might be doing. The nurse called back a little later and told us to give him the treatment every three hours, even during the night! Yeah, right. Whatever. We instead decided to purchase a new humidifier and give that a whirl. As small as our rooms are, we knew that we could fill the room with moisture (and the Vicks vapor medication we poured into it) and it couldn't do anything but good. Griffin is now awake for the day and seems okay. He's a bit raspy still, but seems in good spirits. I might try a treatment a little later, but... I'm not sure. I'm really torn, I obviously want to do what's best for him, but I can't see putting him (and myself) through hell, especially if it makes his heart race and makes him hyperventilate. What would you do? 6:55 a.m. - 2003-09-05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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