ibeachalot's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Having a bad day, remembering a sad one Today was a day from hell. I wish I was still on vacation. I'm having enough trouble getting back into the swing of things without having days like this. No details. I just don't feel like it right now. I'd rather think back on my trip... Oh yeah, I was up to Wednesday. Not the happiest day of my trip. Well, here goes. WEDNESDAY: I was dreading Wednesday because Kevin had to go back home. We arranged for him to take the airport bus from Van Nuys so I wouldn't have to go through the LAX anxiety again. We were surprised to learn that the bus to LAX was only $3.50!! We decided it was definitely a go. We went to Uncle Herb's for breakfast. We'd been going there for eighteen years. The only thing that's changed is now being closed on Mondays. As we left, we saw a poster on the wall of Paul M.. Paul is the son of some good friends of ours. I remember when he was just a toddler. Now look at him! A first baseman for the Padres! WOW! We walked through some more model homes. These were even more spectacular than the first set we saw, with a much more hefty price tag. They were awesome. We saw several that would suit our needs perfectly. Then it was time to head to the airport. We drove back into the Valley and went to the Van Nuys flyaway lot. I really hated to see Kevin go. The previous three days were the best time we'd ever had... carefree and relaxing. It was like old times and we couldn't have been happier. I dropped him off and we said our goodbyes. I hate goodbyes, even when it's to someone I'm going to see in a few days. I cried as I drove off. I was really having a sad day, for some reason. I drove over to Dj's house and cried on her shoulder. I was upset about something else, other than Kevin leaving. I had completely misread something concerning another friend of mine and it had me really upset. Sorry to be vague, but it's a private issue. I feel bad enough that I spent most of the day crying on my friends' shoulders. I got to meet Hayden who is the most beautiful little boy! He has tons of dark hair and gorgeous blue eyes. He's so sweet and cuddly. Reed and Delaney were equally as beautiful. Dj is truly blessed, even if her house does look like Winnie the Pooh blew chunks all over it. I drove to Heather's house for a short visit. For the life of me, I can never remember her address. I keep wanting to put her old address with her new street name. I drove right past her house, even with her standing in the driveway, waving wildly at me. I was really out of it. I couldn't figure out what the hell was wrong with me. Heather looks great, as usual. Her hair is shorter now and it looks adorable on her. I love her house. She is always redecorating. I love how she has it done now ~ like a country cottage. I wish I could have visited longer, but I was due to pick up mom at the train station in Oxnard. I said good bye and drove back to Ventura County. I went back to the condo for awhile to wash off the make~up I'd cried down my face. I changed my clothes and noticed... an unexpected monthly visitor, maybe? Not likely. I've never been early, especially by almost two weeks. I picked up mom who had arrived early on the train. We went to Baja Fresh then did some shopping. I took her through the model homes that Kevin and I had seen. I called Larry to see when we could get together. I left him a message. I remembered he said he would be out that night. I can't for the life of me remember where mom and I ate that night or what else we did, other than to watch the results on AI. I had so much on my mind. I finally figured out what was happening to me... I was having a miscarriage. To answer some questions in advance: ~ No, we were not trying to get pregnant. ~ No, I didn't know I was pregnant. ~ No, I'm not really all that upset about it. Being pregnant is the last thing I want right now. If it happened, fine. I would deal with it and welcome my fourth child. But, we certainly aren't trying and if I were to become pregnant it would be a big ol' whoops. Anyway, it's over and I really don't want to talk about it anymore. Thursday was a much better day. I'll elaborate tomorrow. Thanks for reading! 10:01 p.m. - 2003-04-17 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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