ibeachalot's Diaryland Diary
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GRIFFIN!!
*H*A*P*P*Y* *B*I*R*T*H*D*A*Y* to my little pork roast, Griffin! I can't believe it's been two years! Two years ago at this very second, I was in the most pain I'd ever been. I had a completely useless epidural that made this, like the previous two, a completely unmedicated childbirth.
But as soon as I laid eyes on that beautiful baby...
... I fell head over heels in love.
Everyone thought I was insane for wanting another baby. Evan was loaded with mental illness, Kevin and I were fresh off of contemplating divorce and money was already stretched. But when a woman wants a baby, there's no stronger, more urgent and insistant feeling. I had been told that I would likely enter menopause early (and here I am!) so if I wanted to have children, I had better consider it prior to turning 35.
We decided to start trying November 24, 2000. We tried once... and got pregnant.
I was hoping for a girl. My every instinct told me I was carrying a girl. But the ultrasound technician told me on April 2, 2001, "Mom, it looks like you're still queen of the castle!"
I cried.
I was so disappointed. I knew I was carrying a boy, but if I had known it was Griffin, I would have never been disappointed. I never thought I could love anyone as much as I love Evan and Jameson. Boy was I wrong. I can't put into words what that little blue-eyed, golden haired boy means to me. I can't imagine how I survived almost 35 years without him.
And now he's a card-carrying member of the Two Club! Complete with hitting, tantrums and sticky kisses. I love this little boy:
Happy second birthday, Griffin Parker Jackson!
4:45 a.m. - 2003-08-08
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