ibeachalot's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Christmas I promised a more thorough entry... Okay, where did I leave off. Oh yeah, the day before Christmas Eve. Debbie, Mel, Nancy, Matt, Stephanie and Autumn all came over for the evening. I only saw Debbie in September, but oh how she's changed. Her cancer is back. It's in her spine and on her liver. She's being given chemo which makes her sick all the time. She's weak and frail and can't get around well at all. She looks much older than 41. She tried really hard to be a part of the conversation, but you could tell she really wanted to just curl up and go to sleep. It's ironic... there was a time, not too long ago when I would have taken pleasure in seeing her die a slow painful death. Now it appears it may be happening and it's really hard to see. I spent alot of time crying Christmas Eve. I don't wish something like this on anyone, not even her. She's so alone. Yes, she has her parents to lean on, but I don't know if they offer alot of emotional support. She has Matt, but he lives so far away now. She has Autumn, but she's only six! Now Debbie has lost her job and has no money or insurance. I can't imagine how scary this must be for her. She's in pain and frightened for the future. They came back over Christmas Day and stayed the majority of the day. Christmas Eve, we got six inches of snow. The roads were so bad, Kevin had to give up three of his Santa jobs... waaaa-aaaah! SO much money lost! But I would rather he cancel them than to get stuck out, or worse, get into an accident in the middle of Bum Fuck, Egypt. He was able to make one job here in town and the bitch didn't even tip him. Hmph! While he was gone, the boys and I made some cookies for Santa. We ate a few, saved a plateful for Autumn and burnt two batches because I'm a scatterbrain and forgot to set a timer. We set out carrots for Rudolph and the gang, cookies and egg nog for Santa and the boys wrote a little note. It was so cute. Jameson can write his name really well now. I hate to say it, but he writes better than Evan. The boys all had naps that day, so they were up until all hours, especially Jameson. Finally, he fell asleep and I was able to set out all the loot. Christmas morning, I woke up first and couldn't wait for the kids to wake up! I got them up around ten to seven and told them that Santa had come. Evan shot out of bed, but Jameson said no, that he didn't want to get up, even if Santa had been here. He eventually did, as did Griffin and they saw all the shit Santa (and we) had gotten them. They got so much stuff, it wasn't even funny. They all three got bikes, but only Griffin was interested in them. It was funny... Evan and Jameson looked right past theirs to all the other stuff, but Griffin marched right up to the biggest bike and tried to jump on! They loved everything they got and have been good about sharing it all with their brothers. Matt and the gang showed up around 2pm with a huge boxful of more goodies. Everyone loved all their gifts, especially Matt who loved the Franklin Mint Rams Chevy truck we got him. Autumn loved her St. Louis Cardinal cheerleader outfit I picked out, too. Debbie was stunned when she saw it. We cooked a simple dinner, which everyone seemed to like, then we took the kids sledding up at Evan's school. Debbie was in tears because she wanted to go watch Autumn go sledding for the first time, but knew she couldn't walk very far. I offered to drive her over in Kevin's car so she could sit in the car and watch her. She couldn't believe I would do that for her. The kids had a blast, especially the 20 year old, 200 pound kid! Kevin had to go to a Santa job and while he was gone, everyone headed out for the day. All in all, it was a good day, but sad, too. I can't believe how upset I am about Debbie. By all rights, I should hate her with every fiber of my being for all the upheaval she caused in my life, but for some reason, I don't. In fact, I think I would give up everything I have to make her well again. I hope she beats the odds and pulls through... but something tells me, she won't. I knew someone once who had liver cancer and they died within weeks of being diagnosed. But I hope like hell she beats this... again. Griffin was so fussy all day, Christmas day. I thought it was because of all the strangers around. After he was up all night crying, we took him to the doctor. My poor little guy has bronchiolitis. They gave us a nebulizer and we have to give him breathing treatments four times a day. He's not crazy about it at all, but I think it's helping. After being up again all night, the night before last, he finally slept like a stone last night. I had hoped to hit some of the early after Christmas sales, but I was so tired, there's no way I could have dragged myself out of bed in time. Kevin is getting some after-Christmas Santa jobs, which helps to make up for the cash he lost on the 24th. We have to send it all to the contractor for the deck and fence, so we need all we can scrounge up! Well, I've been on awhile without getting booted off, so I'd better not press my luck any further. Talk to you all later. 5:54 a.m. - 2002-12-28 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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