ibeachalot's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bad kids and an elephant's ass As I mentioned last night, we are officially for sale. There's a sign in the yard, a sign at the end of our street, a sign on our back fence, a listing with the agent and a neighborhood full of nosey, gap-mouthed hoosiers. We plan to host open houses every weekend until this place is sold. I cleaned the hell out of the house yesterday and today and have been working my tail off trying to keep it that way. Before any piece of debris hits the floor, be it toys, crumbs or dirty laundry... supermom does the flight of the bumblebee to retrieve it from its path and put it in its proper place. All while hollering at the perpetrator for not putting said article away himself. Talk about multi-tasking. I don't know what's gotten into my kids. Perhaps it's the boredom of being home with mom, who admittedly hasn't been a whole hell of a lot of fun lately. Maybe it's the weather which has simply been too hot to be enjoyable. I'm sure summer break and a strong desire to resume school is the biggest culprit. They fight non-stop. And I mean just that. From the minute they open their eyes in the morning to the minute they collapse at night... they're fighting. Not just nitpicky shit anymore, either. They tackle, punch, scratch, kick, pull hair and bite. My kids look I've tied pork chops around their necks and let the pit bulls play with them. Thank goodness school pictures are a ways off yet. Last night, I hadn't been more embarassed by my children since Evan told the box boy at the supermarket that I hadn't showered that day and had put deodorant under my boobs. The entire time we were talking to the realty agent, the kids were on the gas. Pulling couch cushions off and tossing them down the basement stairs, plugging cheez-its into the DVD player, jumping from couch to couch, calling each other "penis breath" and running in and out of the house. I was so mortified at their behavior, I wanted to duct tape them to chairs and boot them down the basement stairs. I'm kidding, of course... please don't call the authorities. After the agent left, I fed the kids dinner and put them immediately to bed. I was so disgusted with them. Last night, naturally while we were eating dinner I saw the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. We were watching "Stupidest Moments Caught on Tape". The final clip was of a moron sweeping an elephant's pen. This idiot was sweeping directly under the animal, when the elephant sat down on the guy's head!!! THE GUY'S HEAD WAS ALL THE WAY IN THE ELEPHANT'S ASSHOLE!!! After I did the heeby-geebys for a few minutes, I opted to not finish my dinner. On a less-sickening note, there are more pictures of our new house on my fotolog. 4:01 p.m. - 2003-07-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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