ibeachalot's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I've GOT to get out of here... I had an interesting encounter yesterday. My door bell rings. Now, I must say I hate hearing the doorbell ring unless I�m expecting someone. Usually, it�s some snot~nosed kid either wanting Evan to come out and play or wanting to sell me a $10 candy bar so he can go on a hiking trip through Europe or it�s someone coming to shut off whatever utility I forgot to pay. Whichever, the doorbell does not usually yield good news. This time was no exception. It was a neighbor of mine. He stood on my front porch wearing the following: ~ a Chia-Mullet ~ a gold chain ~ filthy jeans with holes in the knees ~ a gold hoop earring ~ and a blank stare that can only come from generations of inbreeding He was not wearing the following: ~ shirt ~ shoes ~ deodorant An unlit cigarette dangled from his upper lip. He had only one tooth and it was hanging from the gold chain around his neck. I smiled at him, more out of sheer amusement than friendliness and said, "Yes? Can I help you?" He glared at me for what seemed like minutes, then finally spoke. "You seen my dawg?" For a split second I contemplated the following reply: "I didn�t even know you were married!" But thought better of it. I also considered: "No I ain�t seen your dawg." But again, cooler heads prevailed. I simply said, "No, I�m sorry. I haven�t." He offered no description of the "dawg" (this would require a vocabulary) but since I hadn�t seen any strange animals (up to then, anyway) , I felt it was safe to assume I hadn�t seen his, either. He then said, "I lost my dawg." No shit? This would stand to reason, seeing as how you�re going to door to door asking people if they "seen it." He didn�t seem to want to leave my porch, despite my inching the door closed as a hint. Finally, he said, "Shee-yit. Aw-ight" and was on his merry way. Later, I saw him driving his truck up and down the street behind me. He stopped (in the middle of the street) and began walking in between houses. Finally, the biggest, dumbest, ugliest mutt I ever saw came galloping back into the truck... and so did his dawg. 4:07 a.m. - 2003-07-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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