ibeachalot's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lazy ass Saturday Having a lazy Saturday around here. We got up early with Griffin, whose new teeth kept him up half the night. I ordered bagels from St. Louis Bread Co. online, then we went to pick them up. They gave us two extra tubs of cream cheese by mistake. Yay! Makes up for all the times I've been shorted stuff. I really shouldn't have been eating bagels to begin with. I was doing well on my diet for several days, but the past day or so I've been horrible. I took the kids to McDonald's for lunch yesterday. This is a habit I really have to stop. They don't need that shit any more than I do. I was good as far as not ordering myself anything, but I ate half a bag of fries on the way home. *Sigh* Then last night, I made macaroni and cheese for the kids. I told myself I wasn't going to eat any of it, but the next thing I know, I'm eating a plateful. I let that be my dinner, even though I was still a bit hungry. I figured it contained my fat intake for at least the next couple of days. Today I feel fat and bloated. Being slim seems so far off! I would love to lose about 50 pounds, but would settle for about 30 to 40. I did lose three pounds last week, but I bet I've gained it all back after this last couple of days. If I want this so much, shouldn't it be easier? I'm tired of being a fat slob. We found a house we'd love to buy (inourdreams). It's right around the corner from us. Everyone around here knows of this house. All you have to say is "that house on Knaust" and everyone knows which one you mean. It's incredible. It came on the market a few days ago and Kevin took an interest in it. Or should I say, Kevin took an interest in the nine, yes I said nine car garage! Two on one side on the house, two on the other that's double deep and a free standing three car garage/workshop. We started talking about how wonderful it would be to have a place like this. The kids could go to the same schools and we'd have two acres for them to run. We rushed home to look it up online to see what they were asking. Oh well. So much for that dream... $540,000 is about $340,000 more than I was hoping to spend. Maybe they'd be willing to knock a few hundred thousand off the asking price for all the construction going on nearby. I was never so angry in my life as I was last night with Evan. I had their dinner in the oven and I was running around trying to handle a bunch of other things around the house before Kevin came home. The baby needed changing and Jameson was falling to pieces over wanting his "drawfs" (any thoughts on what this might be, please email me. I'm still trying to figure it out. The phone was ringing, the washer was taking a stroll right out the laundry room door and the oven timer was going off. I had to pee in the worst way and had been putting off doing so for hours. You know... it was one of those Calgon moments. When I finally got the baby changed, the washer stopped, the phone answered and my bladder emptied, Evan threw his arms up in disgust and yelled, "WHEN ARE YOU GONNA GET MY GODDAMN DINNER! THE TIMER WENT OFF AGES AGO!" The look of hatred on his face infuriated me. Who does this child think he's talking to? This attitude had become commonplace, not only from him, but from Jameson, as well. My kids are so abusive to me, I have no self~esteem left. If a spouse or significant other treated me the way my own children do, I could bring charges against them. The other day, Jameson sneezed. I ruffled his hair lovingly and said, "Bless you, sweetie!". He pushed my hand away and said, "Oh, shut up and go check your e~mail!" They treat each other just as badly. The other day, I had taken everyone outside to play. Evan refused to let Jameson have a turn with the baseball and bat. When I finally threatened to take him inside if he didn't let J have a turn, he hurled the bat around and hit J across the face with it. Luckily, it was only a plastic bat, but it still split his lip open. I'm not looking forward to summer break this year. Both of them home for weeks on end is going to drive me to drink. And I mean drink anything!! Gasoline, lighter fluid... anything strong. Evan will have summer school, but only for four weeks. If I survive, I deserve a medal of honor. I'm gonna wake Kevin's lazy ass up and tell him it's my turn for a nap. Have a good weekend! 2:47 p.m. - 2003-05-24 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||